you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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