And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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