if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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