so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He shit in the fireplace
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
