Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize