She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
