i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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