i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
