if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize