My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
