dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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