yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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