She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
