i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
