Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
