I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
