Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
