Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
