she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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