he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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