Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
