Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
