perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
