Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
