I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
