May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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