The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
