The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
