I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
