Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize