So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
