So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize