I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I know her cup size but not her name....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
