so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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