This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Randomize
