I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
