And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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