If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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