So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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