is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
