wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
