Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
