The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize