So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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