Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
