When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
