Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
