I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
