I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
