he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
