You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
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