Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize