Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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