At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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