Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
