At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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