Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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