had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
and she was petting her beer can
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
