Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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