is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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