I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
