He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
