I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
