Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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